Vulnerable I listen to regrets of me shattered existence.
I had to start a GoFundMe account to help with medical bills that are making other living expenses hard to afford. I am glad my daughter got the care that was needed, but now life seems unmanageable every month. It is embarrassing asking for money. At almost 40 years old I thought I would be … Continue reading Under Water
Some things are best not spoken about left alone to grow cobwebs and dust. The moments in time that proved to be too much, too heavy, too raw are better left alone. For heads grow heavy and souls grow weak when burdens are too much to bear. It's of these moments we mustn't speak, … Continue reading Don’t Speak
Let's talk about things, unrelated to your favorite topic the subject of you. My day was quite stressful, but you'll hear none of that because your tone is more focused on you and your time. Nothing is as important not anything of mine. Quick as a flash, no hint of it coming, you turn up … Continue reading It’s Not Me, It’s You
The trees seem to speak as they wave in the wind. The branches are broken apart yet they stand. Can they feel emotions as you and I? Do they suffer from heartache, and will they break down and cry? Leaves seem to whisper that they know more than they say. Can they too keep secrets … Continue reading Trees
We joked in the kitchen, sun shining through the window, about how you had a secret life, filled with people only you know. But a dream brought to light secrets that you tried to delete. I kept scrolling and scrolling, uncovering more heinous deceit. Twenty years were a facade? I can only imagine the depths, … Continue reading Secrets
It does not take much for him to be distant and cold, very mad at me. All I have to do is speak my mind, have a different opinion for him to unwind. The blow back is fierce when I've half a smile and act upset even just for a while. Empathy is escaping from … Continue reading I’m Tired
Little was gained in recognition while time moved forward in years. Diligent there was a purpose, yet followers stayed back with fears. The eerie cloud of most suspicion lies under the blanket of doubt. He strived for greatness anyway not looking to gain any clout. On that day there was a premonition, where doom greatly … Continue reading Premonition
I tend to say things I don't really mean, and in the end I feel rather hopeless. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm easily hurt, don't you know this? I tend to get nervous around other people, and sometimes I act rather foolish. I tend to self doubt, when compared … Continue reading I Tend To Be Me
I had to write a villanelle style poem for my college writing class, and I thought I would share it here. It is about the loss of a very good friend, and the feelings around losing him inspired this piece. (This is my original work, and I own the rights to it) You No Longer … Continue reading You No Longer Know
Sometimes it's better just not to talk. Nothing's ever right, everything is wrong. No look, no tone, is ever enough. Imperfect am I. I've heard it before. I wish I could fall away.
Time is ticking on, and it seems the world moves forward without you. Not quite a year has passed, and yet we all feel empty without you. You were taken so fast, we did not grasp how we could survive without you. Shortly it will be that blackened day, grieving this year without you. (Daily … Continue reading Fade to Black
Being empathetic is key in making this work, but the trick is you have to listen. Open your mind, then please sit silent a while, talking one sided only leads to more tension. Going on and on about my wrongs, you shut down, fall deaf, you don't hear me. Your words more important, mine never … Continue reading A Little Less Talk
Allergies are tricky things. Mine do not happen just in Spring, but also in Fall they come around, and make me a hermit. I'm home bound. Itchy eyes, scratchy throat, and endless acts of blowing my nose. Pure misery for weeks on end, no medicine seems to be my friend. When it subsides, and I … Continue reading Allergy Season(s)
Treated more like an obligation, more than out of admiration, the rope I walk on is very thin. For just one mistake, could make the ice quickly break, and cause my world to cave in. The words cut so sharp, as they rip through my heart. the inevitable seems very clear. The meek will take … Continue reading Self righteous
Mumbling fool you did it again, Waiting for the night to come to its end. You stomp and you stagger all through the hall, Loudly declaring you're ready to brawl. It's tired this way of drowning yourself. Tedious is the way you handle it now. Nobody minds if you miss a meal, Nobody cares how … Continue reading Nothing
Of this dream I remember well, all of the sights and all of the smells. We walked along, you touched my face. Helplessly I fell into your embrace. We were one, you and I, and time just seemed to trickle by. I awoke feeling happy and free, only to realize you weren't really with me. … Continue reading This Dream
Our friend is dying, this is not fair! A life so full of energy, just taken away. A brother, a son, and a father..... this is not fair for the poor little girl. A slow death, snuffing out the light of a man who truly cares about his friends and his family. No, this … Continue reading Unfair
In an instant I changed for you, And pushed back any dream I had. My goals were now to keep you safe, And keep us all afloat. Little did I know the damage, Once the smoke all cleared. Never did I imagine Everything I'd done was against myself.
There is a dark cloud coming down, faster than ever before. Its presence made known to all around, even before knocking on the door. It's a prison of sorts, for the innocents, those who have lived it before. It will take and take, until one suffocates, leaving to search for some more. Hold … Continue reading Once Before