Vulnerable I listen to regrets of me shattered existence.
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Life
Under Water
I had to start a GoFundMe account to help with medical bills that are making other living expenses hard to afford. I am glad my daughter got the care that was needed, but now life seems unmanageable every month. It is embarrassing asking for money. At almost 40 years old I thought I would be … Continue reading Under Water
Don’t Speak
Some things are best not spoken about left alone to grow cobwebs and dust. The moments in time that proved to be too much, too heavy, too raw are better left alone. For heads grow heavy and souls grow weak when burdens are too much to bear. It's of these moments we mustn't speak, … Continue reading Don’t Speak
It’s Not Me, It’s You
Let's talk about things, unrelated to your favorite topic the subject of you. My day was quite stressful, but you'll hear none of that because your tone is more focused on you and your time. Nothing is as important not anything of mine. Quick as a flash, no hint of it coming, you turn up … Continue reading It’s Not Me, It’s You
Trees
The trees seem to speak as they wave in the wind. The branches are broken apart yet they stand. Can they feel emotions as you and I? Do they suffer from heartache, and will they break down and cry? Leaves seem to whisper that they know more than they say. Can they too keep secrets … Continue reading Trees
Secrets
We joked in the kitchen, sun shining through the window, about how you had a secret life, filled with people only you know. But a dream brought to light secrets that you tried to delete. I kept scrolling and scrolling, uncovering more heinous deceit. Twenty years were a facade? I can only imagine the depths, … Continue reading Secrets
It Can’t Rain All The Time
My grandfather died last Friday. I am heartbroken, as he was one of the most influential people in my life. I could go on and on about how loving and strong he was. When I was little, I swore he was actually John Wayne. His name was John after all, and he wore a cowboy … Continue reading It Can’t Rain All The Time
Don’t Tell Me What To Do
Why are we a society of people pleasers? What happened to being able to think for ourselves, and decide what makes us feel happy solely based on it making us happy? Even in the 4th grade I am watching it play out, and I can't help but feel sad for the future of those already … Continue reading Don’t Tell Me What To Do
You No Longer Know
I had to write a villanelle style poem for my college writing class, and I thought I would share it here. It is about the loss of a very good friend, and the feelings around losing him inspired this piece. (This is my original work, and I own the rights to it) You No Longer … Continue reading You No Longer Know
In The Blink Of An Eye
I raised a human being that has survived on this earth for 17 years. I nurtured and guided a human being from being a helpless newborn to an independent member of society. She is beautiful and smart. She is strong and independent. And somehow I was the one blessed to play the part of her … Continue reading In The Blink Of An Eye
We Must Entertain
"I don't have any friends!" That is what I have heard this year, more times than I would care to mention, from my youngest daughter, who just turned ten. I have witnessed old friendships fall to the wayside, and I have seen with my own eyes the way these old "friends" treat her at school. … Continue reading We Must Entertain
Imperfect Says You
Sometimes it's better just not to talk. Nothing's ever right, everything is wrong. No look, no tone, is ever enough. Imperfect am I. I've heard it before. I wish I could fall away.
Lead By Example
Why would you teach your child to be anything other than kind to others? As parents, it is our job to ensure our children will be kind, productive human beings. So why would you strive to have your child be mean to others? The way you treat people is the way your children perceive that … Continue reading Lead By Example
There’s Only Time?
When I was younger, I had an image of who I was going to be when I got older. Not what, but who, because I had no idea what career path I was going to take at all. (See You Be The Judge ). No matter what my profession was going to be, I knew … Continue reading There’s Only Time?
Fade to Black
Time is ticking on, and it seems the world moves forward without you. Not quite a year has passed, and yet we all feel empty without you. You were taken so fast, we did not grasp how we could survive without you. Shortly it will be that blackened day, grieving this year without you. (Daily … Continue reading Fade to Black
A Little Less Talk
Being empathetic is key in making this work, but the trick is you have to listen. Open your mind, then please sit silent a while, talking one sided only leads to more tension. Going on and on about my wrongs, you shut down, fall deaf, you don't hear me. Your words more important, mine never … Continue reading A Little Less Talk
Allergy Season(s)
Allergies are tricky things. Mine do not happen just in Spring, but also in Fall they come around, and make me a hermit. I'm home bound. Itchy eyes, scratchy throat, and endless acts of blowing my nose. Pure misery for weeks on end, no medicine seems to be my friend. When it subsides, and I … Continue reading Allergy Season(s)
We’re All Trying To Get Back In
Social scenarios are not my forte. A crowded room of people is not a comfortable place for me. I find myself getting nervous, panicked, and clumsy in these settings. The thought of presenting myself to others in a manner that will lead them to like me is stressful. If you think about it, we all … Continue reading We’re All Trying To Get Back In
Always Be You
Have you ever had one of those "momma bear" moments? You child tells you someone has hurt them, or hurt their feelings, and you instantly become consumed with anger, as you want to make it all right for your child. But what do you do when you are a logical thinker, and know that anger … Continue reading Always Be You
It’s a Sweater
It has been a tough couple of weeks. I feel like I am trying to hold everything together, but the harder I try, the worse it all gets. It is like I am holding this ball of yarn, with the intentions of making a sweater. But as I try to begin to unwind it, the … Continue reading It’s a Sweater
