It does not take much for him to be distant and cold, very mad at me. All I have to do is speak my mind, have a different opinion for him to unwind. The blow back is fierce when I've half a smile and act upset even just for a while. Empathy is escaping from … Continue reading I’m Tired
Emotions
It Can’t Rain All The Time
My grandfather died last Friday. I am heartbroken, as he was one of the most influential people in my life. I could go on and on about how loving and strong he was. When I was little, I swore he was actually John Wayne. His name was John after all, and he wore a cowboy … Continue reading It Can’t Rain All The Time
I Tend To Be Me
I tend to say things I don't really mean, and in the end I feel rather hopeless. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm easily hurt, don't you know this? I tend to get nervous around other people, and sometimes I act rather foolish. I tend to self doubt, when compared … Continue reading I Tend To Be Me
Don’t Tell Me What To Do
Why are we a society of people pleasers? What happened to being able to think for ourselves, and decide what makes us feel happy solely based on it making us happy? Even in the 4th grade I am watching it play out, and I can't help but feel sad for the future of those already … Continue reading Don’t Tell Me What To Do
You No Longer Know
I had to write a villanelle style poem for my college writing class, and I thought I would share it here. It is about the loss of a very good friend, and the feelings around losing him inspired this piece. (This is my original work, and I own the rights to it) You No Longer … Continue reading You No Longer Know
We Must Entertain
"I don't have any friends!" That is what I have heard this year, more times than I would care to mention, from my youngest daughter, who just turned ten. I have witnessed old friendships fall to the wayside, and I have seen with my own eyes the way these old "friends" treat her at school. … Continue reading We Must Entertain
Always Be You
Have you ever had one of those "momma bear" moments? You child tells you someone has hurt them, or hurt their feelings, and you instantly become consumed with anger, as you want to make it all right for your child. But what do you do when you are a logical thinker, and know that anger … Continue reading Always Be You
It’s a Sweater
It has been a tough couple of weeks. I feel like I am trying to hold everything together, but the harder I try, the worse it all gets. It is like I am holding this ball of yarn, with the intentions of making a sweater. But as I try to begin to unwind it, the … Continue reading It’s a Sweater
We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves
It is raining today, and the weather seems to imitate my mood. Lately I have felt so weighed down and defeated. I am not really sure why. Perhaps it is the current state of hate that our country is in, though I will not get political in this post. My oldest daughter, who is 16, … Continue reading We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves
If I Could Turn Back Time
Have you ever thought that if you could just go back to one specific point in time, you would make a completely different choice, and this would change the path of your life that lead to where it is now? I have several of those specific points. Sometimes I find myself in a position where … Continue reading If I Could Turn Back Time
Andy’s Story
We lost our dear friend Andy in January. I was approached by the producer from KWIT, our local public radio station, about writing a piece to honor our friend. Andy loved listening to public radio. 🙂 After several edits of a longer piece I wrote, we finally ended with the perfect story. At first, I … Continue reading Andy’s Story
Nothing
Mumbling fool you did it again, Waiting for the night to come to its end. You stomp and you stagger all through the hall, Loudly declaring you're ready to brawl. It's tired this way of drowning yourself. Tedious is the way you handle it now. Nobody minds if you miss a meal, Nobody cares how … Continue reading Nothing
This Dream
Of this dream I remember well, all of the sights and all of the smells. We walked along, you touched my face. Helplessly I fell into your embrace. We were one, you and I, and time just seemed to trickle by. I awoke feeling happy and free, only to realize you weren't really with me. … Continue reading This Dream
Ba Humbug
In this season of being thankful, I find myself feeling low. I have been reflecting on all I have, all I am, and all I long to be. I am miserable. What the hell is wrong with me? The heavy burden of carrying it all by myself is finally crushing me. I am longing for … Continue reading Ba Humbug
The Frailty of Life
Frail Our cat is pregnant. It has been such an exciting time for our family! The kids have been taking such good care of her. They make sure she eats enough, they have been rubbing her belly, and all that good stuff. They even were making bets on how many kittens she would have. This … Continue reading The Frailty of Life
Heartbreaking Reality
I didn't even get an invitation to my step-brother's wedding. I don't know why I was kept off of the guest list, and this has left me sad and confused. The more I think about it, the sadder I seem to get. My dad married his mom almost 20 years ago, and with that union came … Continue reading Heartbreaking Reality
Open Eyes
I've opened up my eyes To all that's going on. Honestly I can't believe We held it together so long. Waiting for someone To make the first move. Headstrong like we both Have something to prove. But really we both will lose. The truth costs more Than we both realize. Admitting this really Comes as … Continue reading Open Eyes
The Unknown
In 2009, I was referred to the ENT (Ear Nose and Throat Specialist) because I had a bump in my neck that my doctor couldn't quite figure out. He did a CT scan, and found that the bump in my neck was fine, but I had a growth on my thyroid that was concerning to … Continue reading The Unknown
Man – o – Man
My parents were divorced when I was five years old. It was tough seeing my dad move out of our home, and it was lonely having just my mom and I in the house. I would go see my dad occasionally, and I always cried when I had to leave him. It was a tough … Continue reading Man – o – Man
A Last Set of Firsts
We have three wonderful children, and we are not having any more. Really. Not even if I wanted to. The fact that we were actually able to have our third child is a miracle in itself. A year prior to becoming pregnant with her, I was told it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant … Continue reading A Last Set of Firsts
