When I was younger, I had an image of who I was going to be when I got older. Not what, but who, because I had no idea what career path I was going to take at all. (See You Be The Judge ). No matter what my profession was going to be, I knew … Continue reading There’s Only Time?
Have you ever had one of those "momma bear" moments? You child tells you someone has hurt them, or hurt their feelings, and you instantly become consumed with anger, as you want to make it all right for your child. But what do you do when you are a logical thinker, and know that anger … Continue reading Always Be You
It is raining today, and the weather seems to imitate my mood. Lately I have felt so weighed down and defeated. I am not really sure why. Perhaps it is the current state of hate that our country is in, though I will not get political in this post. My oldest daughter, who is 16, … Continue reading We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves
Life is constantly flowing. It never just stops and holds still. It keeps moving, slowing down from time to time, but always in constant motion. I wish I had the perspective on life at 18 that I now have at 38. Curious to what life would have looked like through those eyes then. I am … Continue reading Life’s Perpetual Flow
Treated more like an obligation, more than out of admiration, the rope I walk on is very thin. For just one mistake, could make the ice quickly break, and cause my world to cave in. The words cut so sharp, as they rip through my heart. the inevitable seems very clear. The meek will take … Continue reading Self righteous
I didn't even get an invitation to my step-brother's wedding. I don't know why I was kept off of the guest list, and this has left me sad and confused. The more I think about it, the sadder I seem to get. My dad married his mom almost 20 years ago, and with that union came … Continue reading Heartbreaking Reality
I've opened up my eyes To all that's going on. Honestly I can't believe We held it together so long. Waiting for someone To make the first move. Headstrong like we both Have something to prove. But really we both will lose. The truth costs more Than we both realize. Admitting this really Comes as … Continue reading Open Eyes
In 2009, I was referred to the ENT (Ear Nose and Throat Specialist) because I had a bump in my neck that my doctor couldn't quite figure out. He did a CT scan, and found that the bump in my neck was fine, but I had a growth on my thyroid that was concerning to … Continue reading The Unknown
My parents were divorced when I was five years old. It was tough seeing my dad move out of our home, and it was lonely having just my mom and I in the house. I would go see my dad occasionally, and I always cried when I had to leave him. It was a tough … Continue reading Man – o – Man
We have three wonderful children, and we are not having any more. Really. Not even if I wanted to. The fact that we were actually able to have our third child is a miracle in itself. A year prior to becoming pregnant with her, I was told it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant … Continue reading A Last Set of Firsts
I feel so blessed as I enter this new year. I truly have so much to be thankful for, and realize that I take so much for granted everyday. I am one who tends to see the negative, and focus on how things could be better. When, in actuality, things are pretty great, even in … Continue reading Looking Forward to 2016
I used to beg him for his time. It was pathetic, really. It was as if he was the only person in my life, and I had to convince him that he wanted to spend time with me. I had to constantly beg for a bit of his time, which he mostly gave to his … Continue reading The Clock Is Still Ticking : Time Isn’t Waiting For You
This weekend is the 75th annual tulip festival in Iowa. It's a really fun weekend where you get to learn about, and celebrate the Dutch heritage. There are tons of beautiful tulips in the city, and many activities. As a child, my family and I would go every year, and spend the whole day there. … Continue reading Contemplating Among the Tulips
Remember in my last post when I said we had lost a family member while he was in custody? (See Here). Something happened this weekend that I feel the need to write about, that relates to him. A little back story......he was a loving and caring person, whom everyone loved. He died tragically and suddenly, … Continue reading Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal
Well, to all who know I have been looking for a new job (see What Was It All For), I got one!! I really cannot believe it, and feel so blessed! I will be working for the city at the public library! Perfect for a book nerd like me 😉 One of the many great … Continue reading Things Are Turning Around
A new journey set out to find, Answers to questions that weigh on my mind. Like, why am I me? Is there more to see? When did I fall foolishly behind?
My friend's father passed away yesterday in quite a tragic way. He was my goddaughter's grandfather, and he was my friend. I have known him for almost 16 years now. When I first met him, he reminded me of John Wayne. He was very tall, I mean super tall, like 6 foot 200 inches 😉 He … Continue reading Losing A Legend
I dropped my two youngest children off at school this morning, and cried all the way home. My heart aches because I feel like I have failed them. They are back into being thrown into the group, made to conform to what everyone else is doing. I failed at giving them their chance to grow … Continue reading What Was It All For?
Tonight I am in mourning. I mourn for the mom that I failed to be for my kids. I mourn for the struggles I have now placed in front of them as they go back to school tomorrow. I feel like I have completely failed them, and failed my family. I wonder what it all … Continue reading Short and Sweet
In response to The Daily Post's writing prompt: "Fearless Fantasies." Incapable of feeling fear? Yes! I am probably the most anxiety ridden, fearful person in the world. Okay, that's probably not true, but I do tend to worry more than others. I err on the side of caution more times than not. I have always … Continue reading Fearless