We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves

It is raining today, and the weather seems to imitate my mood. Lately I have felt so weighed down and defeated. I am not really sure why. Perhaps it is the current state of hate that our country is in, though I will not get political in this post. My oldest daughter, who is 16, … Continue reading We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves

I’ve Been Afraid of Changing….

Have you ever heard the song "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac? In the live version, Stevie Nicks begins it by saying "this is for you daddy." However, I have read that the song is more about relationships and sacrifices. And as of late, I find myself listening to this song, and thinking about my own life. … Continue reading I’ve Been Afraid of Changing….

If I Could Turn Back Time

Have you ever thought that if you could just go back to one specific point in time, you would make a completely different choice, and this would change the path of your life that lead to where it is now? I have several of those specific points. Sometimes I find myself in a position where … Continue reading If I Could Turn Back Time

The Frailty of Life

Frail Our cat is pregnant. It has been such an exciting time for our family! The kids have been taking such good care of her. They make sure she eats enough, they have been rubbing her belly, and all that good stuff. They even were making bets on how many kittens she would have. This … Continue reading The Frailty of Life

Heartbreaking Reality

I didn't even get an invitation to my step-brother's wedding. I don't know why I was kept off of the guest list, and this has left me sad and confused. The more I think about it, the sadder I seem to get. My dad married his mom almost 20 years ago, and with that union came … Continue reading Heartbreaking Reality

A Last Set of Firsts

We have three wonderful children, and we are not having any more. Really. Not even if I wanted to. The fact that we were actually able to have our third child is a miracle in itself. A year prior to becoming pregnant with her, I was told it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant … Continue reading A Last Set of Firsts

The Clock Is Still Ticking : Time Isn’t Waiting For You

I used to beg him for his time. It was pathetic, really. It was as if he was the only person in my life, and I had to convince him that he wanted to spend time with me. I had to constantly beg for a bit of his time, which he mostly gave to his … Continue reading The Clock Is Still Ticking : Time Isn’t Waiting For You

Contemplating Among the Tulips

This weekend is the 75th annual tulip festival in Iowa. It's a really fun weekend where you get to learn about, and celebrate the Dutch heritage. There are tons of beautiful tulips in the city, and many activities. As a child, my family and I would go every year, and spend the whole day there. … Continue reading Contemplating Among the Tulips

Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal

Remember in my last post when I said we had lost a family member while he was in custody? (See Here). Something happened this weekend that I feel the need to write about, that relates to him. A little back story......he was a loving and caring person, whom everyone loved. He died tragically and suddenly, … Continue reading Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal

Things Are Turning Around

Well, to all who know I have been looking for a new job (see What Was It All For), I got one!! I really cannot believe it, and feel so blessed! I will be working for the city at the public library! Perfect for a book nerd like me 😉 One of the many great … Continue reading Things Are Turning Around

Outside Looking In (Day 5) – Fog, Elegy, Metaphor

The weight of the world falls heavy on you, you keep bending until you break. I watch as they dispense the cure in your hands, and hope this time it will take. Instead this chemical, in all its pure form, crushes your very soul. You become changed, and slightly more deranged, and someone I don't … Continue reading Outside Looking In (Day 5) – Fog, Elegy, Metaphor

Losing A Legend

My friend's father passed away yesterday in quite a tragic way. He was my goddaughter's grandfather, and he was my friend. I have known him for almost 16 years now. When I first met him, he reminded me of John Wayne. He was very tall, I mean super tall, like 6 foot 200 inches 😉 He … Continue reading Losing A Legend

What Was It All For?

I dropped my two youngest children off at school this morning, and cried all the way home. My heart aches because I feel like I have failed them. They are back into being thrown into the group, made to conform to what everyone else is doing. I failed at giving them their chance to grow … Continue reading What Was It All For?

Fearless

In response to The Daily Post's writing prompt: "Fearless Fantasies." Incapable of feeling fear? Yes! I am probably the most anxiety ridden, fearful person in the world. Okay, that's probably not true, but I do tend to worry more than others. I err on the side of caution more times than not. I have always … Continue reading Fearless