It is raining today, and the weather seems to imitate my mood. Lately I have felt so weighed down and defeated. I am not really sure why. Perhaps it is the current state of hate that our country is in, though I will not get political in this post. My oldest daughter, who is 16, … Continue reading We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves
Have you ever heard the song "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac? In the live version, Stevie Nicks begins it by saying "this is for you daddy." However, I have read that the song is more about relationships and sacrifices. And as of late, I find myself listening to this song, and thinking about my own life. … Continue reading I’ve Been Afraid of Changing….
Treated more like an obligation, more than out of admiration, the rope I walk on is very thin. For just one mistake, could make the ice quickly break, and cause my world to cave in. The words cut so sharp, as they rip through my heart. the inevitable seems very clear. The meek will take … Continue reading Self righteous
Have you ever thought that if you could just go back to one specific point in time, you would make a completely different choice, and this would change the path of your life that lead to where it is now? I have several of those specific points. Sometimes I find myself in a position where … Continue reading If I Could Turn Back Time
Frail Our cat is pregnant. It has been such an exciting time for our family! The kids have been taking such good care of her. They make sure she eats enough, they have been rubbing her belly, and all that good stuff. They even were making bets on how many kittens she would have. This … Continue reading The Frailty of Life
I didn't even get an invitation to my step-brother's wedding. I don't know why I was kept off of the guest list, and this has left me sad and confused. The more I think about it, the sadder I seem to get. My dad married his mom almost 20 years ago, and with that union came … Continue reading Heartbreaking Reality
I've opened up my eyes To all that's going on. Honestly I can't believe We held it together so long. Waiting for someone To make the first move. Headstrong like we both Have something to prove. But really we both will lose. The truth costs more Than we both realize. Admitting this really Comes as … Continue reading Open Eyes
My parents were divorced when I was five years old. It was tough seeing my dad move out of our home, and it was lonely having just my mom and I in the house. I would go see my dad occasionally, and I always cried when I had to leave him. It was a tough … Continue reading Man – o – Man
We have three wonderful children, and we are not having any more. Really. Not even if I wanted to. The fact that we were actually able to have our third child is a miracle in itself. A year prior to becoming pregnant with her, I was told it would be nearly impossible to get pregnant … Continue reading A Last Set of Firsts
I feel so blessed as I enter this new year. I truly have so much to be thankful for, and realize that I take so much for granted everyday. I am one who tends to see the negative, and focus on how things could be better. When, in actuality, things are pretty great, even in … Continue reading Looking Forward to 2016
I used to beg him for his time. It was pathetic, really. It was as if he was the only person in my life, and I had to convince him that he wanted to spend time with me. I had to constantly beg for a bit of his time, which he mostly gave to his … Continue reading The Clock Is Still Ticking : Time Isn’t Waiting For You
This weekend is the 75th annual tulip festival in Iowa. It's a really fun weekend where you get to learn about, and celebrate the Dutch heritage. There are tons of beautiful tulips in the city, and many activities. As a child, my family and I would go every year, and spend the whole day there. … Continue reading Contemplating Among the Tulips
Remember in my last post when I said we had lost a family member while he was in custody? (See Here). Something happened this weekend that I feel the need to write about, that relates to him. A little back story......he was a loving and caring person, whom everyone loved. He died tragically and suddenly, … Continue reading Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal
Well, to all who know I have been looking for a new job (see What Was It All For), I got one!! I really cannot believe it, and feel so blessed! I will be working for the city at the public library! Perfect for a book nerd like me 😉 One of the many great … Continue reading Things Are Turning Around
The weight of the world falls heavy on you, you keep bending until you break. I watch as they dispense the cure in your hands, and hope this time it will take. Instead this chemical, in all its pure form, crushes your very soul. You become changed, and slightly more deranged, and someone I don't … Continue reading Outside Looking In (Day 5) – Fog, Elegy, Metaphor
A new journey set out to find, Answers to questions that weigh on my mind. Like, why am I me? Is there more to see? When did I fall foolishly behind?
My friend's father passed away yesterday in quite a tragic way. He was my goddaughter's grandfather, and he was my friend. I have known him for almost 16 years now. When I first met him, he reminded me of John Wayne. He was very tall, I mean super tall, like 6 foot 200 inches 😉 He … Continue reading Losing A Legend
I dropped my two youngest children off at school this morning, and cried all the way home. My heart aches because I feel like I have failed them. They are back into being thrown into the group, made to conform to what everyone else is doing. I failed at giving them their chance to grow … Continue reading What Was It All For?
In response to The Daily Post's writing prompt: "Fearless Fantasies." Incapable of feeling fear? Yes! I am probably the most anxiety ridden, fearful person in the world. Okay, that's probably not true, but I do tend to worry more than others. I err on the side of caution more times than not. I have always … Continue reading Fearless
I am a very literal person. Words. I love them. When I am listening to a song, I tend to focus more on the words then the music. (Most of the time). If I am with someone in my car, I'll say, "Wow! Did you hear those lyrics?" To which I usually get a reply … Continue reading Literally Literal