It does not take much for him to be distant and cold, very mad at me. All I have to do is speak my mind, have a different opinion for him to unwind. The blow back is fierce when I've half a smile and act upset even just for a while. Empathy is escaping from … Continue reading I’m Tired
My grandfather died last Friday. I am heartbroken, as he was one of the most influential people in my life. I could go on and on about how loving and strong he was. When I was little, I swore he was actually John Wayne. His name was John after all, and he wore a cowboy … Continue reading It Can’t Rain All The Time
Little was gained in recognition while time moved forward in years. Diligent there was a purpose, yet followers stayed back with fears. The eerie cloud of most suspicion lies under the blanket of doubt. He strived for greatness anyway not looking to gain any clout. On that day there was a premonition, where doom greatly … Continue reading Premonition
I tend to say things I don't really mean, and in the end I feel rather hopeless. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I'm easily hurt, don't you know this? I tend to get nervous around other people, and sometimes I act rather foolish. I tend to self doubt, when compared … Continue reading I Tend To Be Me
Why are we a society of people pleasers? What happened to being able to think for ourselves, and decide what makes us feel happy solely based on it making us happy? Even in the 4th grade I am watching it play out, and I can't help but feel sad for the future of those already … Continue reading Don’t Tell Me What To Do
I had to write a villanelle style poem for my college writing class, and I thought I would share it here. It is about the loss of a very good friend, and the feelings around losing him inspired this piece. (This is my original work, and I own the rights to it) You No Longer … Continue reading You No Longer Know
I raised a human being that has survived on this earth for 17 years. I nurtured and guided a human being from being a helpless newborn to an independent member of society. She is beautiful and smart. She is strong and independent. And somehow I was the one blessed to play the part of her … Continue reading In The Blink Of An Eye
"I don't have any friends!" That is what I have heard this year, more times than I would care to mention, from my youngest daughter, who just turned ten. I have witnessed old friendships fall to the wayside, and I have seen with my own eyes the way these old "friends" treat her at school. … Continue reading We Must Entertain
Sometimes it's better just not to talk. Nothing's ever right, everything is wrong. No look, no tone, is ever enough. Imperfect am I. I've heard it before. I wish I could fall away.
Why would you teach your child to be anything other than kind to others? As parents, it is our job to ensure our children will be kind, productive human beings. So why would you strive to have your child be mean to others? The way you treat people is the way your children perceive that … Continue reading Lead By Example
When I was younger, I had an image of who I was going to be when I got older. Not what, but who, because I had no idea what career path I was going to take at all. (See You Be The Judge ). No matter what my profession was going to be, I knew … Continue reading There’s Only Time?
Time is ticking on, and it seems the world moves forward without you. Not quite a year has passed, and yet we all feel empty without you. You were taken so fast, we did not grasp how we could survive without you. Shortly it will be that blackened day, grieving this year without you. (Daily … Continue reading Fade to Black
Being empathetic is key in making this work, but the trick is you have to listen. Open your mind, then please sit silent a while, talking one sided only leads to more tension. Going on and on about my wrongs, you shut down, fall deaf, you don't hear me. Your words more important, mine never … Continue reading A Little Less Talk
Allergies are tricky things. Mine do not happen just in Spring, but also in Fall they come around, and make me a hermit. I'm home bound. Itchy eyes, scratchy throat, and endless acts of blowing my nose. Pure misery for weeks on end, no medicine seems to be my friend. When it subsides, and I … Continue reading Allergy Season(s)
Social scenarios are not my forte. A crowded room of people is not a comfortable place for me. I find myself getting nervous, panicked, and clumsy in these settings. The thought of presenting myself to others in a manner that will lead them to like me is stressful. If you think about it, we all … Continue reading We’re All Trying To Get Back In
Have you ever had one of those "momma bear" moments? You child tells you someone has hurt them, or hurt their feelings, and you instantly become consumed with anger, as you want to make it all right for your child. But what do you do when you are a logical thinker, and know that anger … Continue reading Always Be You
It has been a tough couple of weeks. I feel like I am trying to hold everything together, but the harder I try, the worse it all gets. It is like I am holding this ball of yarn, with the intentions of making a sweater. But as I try to begin to unwind it, the … Continue reading It’s a Sweater
It is raining today, and the weather seems to imitate my mood. Lately I have felt so weighed down and defeated. I am not really sure why. Perhaps it is the current state of hate that our country is in, though I will not get political in this post. My oldest daughter, who is 16, … Continue reading We Have to Be Honest With Ourselves
I had the craziest dream last night! It was so vivid, so real, and very scary. Here it is: We (my family) were staying at a hotel, as we were on vacation. The boys went off to do something, and my girls wanted to go to the pool to swim. I told the girls they … Continue reading All in A Dream…But What Does it Mean?
Have you ever heard the song "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac? In the live version, Stevie Nicks begins it by saying "this is for you daddy." However, I have read that the song is more about relationships and sacrifices. And as of late, I find myself listening to this song, and thinking about my own life. … Continue reading I’ve Been Afraid of Changing….