I raised a human being that has survived on this earth for 17 years. I nurtured and guided a human being from being a helpless newborn to an independent member of society. She is beautiful and smart. She is strong and independent. And somehow I was the one blessed to play the part of her mother.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was terrified, and in complete denial. I took four or five pregnancy tests, convinced that each were flawed in manufacturing when they came up positive. Then, as reality sunk in, I became petrified of the fact that there will be a tiny human completely dependent on me to survive. No pressure. It’s just literally life or death.
I was certain I was going to fail. How would I know what to do when she was sick, or hurt? How would I know what to do when she cried? Why is there not a rule book on this stuff? But when she was born, late on a snowy night, I felt like I had never felt before. I felt that I had purpose, and that I was ready to take parenting head on. She was perfect, and my duty was to make sure she had everything she needed. I was never going to let her down.
Except, I have. I am not a perfect parent by any means. She and I have had our ups and downs, but we have grown, thrived, and survived. If I close my eyes I can see her as the little blonde girl, who would wear her swimsuit and a sun hat as she played outside. I can see the girl who would crawl into my bed at night, and snuggle up beside me so tight. I can hear her little voice singing in the shower, and I can hear her sweet voice saying, “I love you mommy.”
When my eyes open again, I am back in reality, and filling out papers for her senior year of high school. I am worried when she is out driving, and I am thankful when she still wants to lay by me. Somehow, I managed to give this world such an amazing human. And time went way too fast. The day she was born, it was no longer about me. It was always we. And no matter how old she gets, she will always be my little girl. I feel like the luckiest person alive, as it has been my honor to be her mom.
Cliche, but true. Don’t blink folks. Time goes faster than you think.
(Daily Prompt) Blink