Flirting is funny. You think of it from when you were younger. It felt good to flirt, and left you wanting to do it again. As I get older, I look at younger people flirting, and reminisce of the times when I myself would be flirting with someone, or find someone to be flirting with me. It was innocent. As you get older, flirting becomes a bit more dangerous. Especially if it is happening with someone else outside of your marriage. Flirting can quickly lead to so much more, and can break many hearts along the way.
My friend recently found out her husband has been cheating on her, and it hurts my heart to see her pain. I can feel the feelings, and the raw emotion that takes over your brain once you learn that you have been cheated on. The feelings of why wasn’t I good enough, and what did I do wrong? The feelings of doubt, insecurity, and mistrust that come with the shock. I too have been cheated on. It made me go crazy, out of my mind. I was not myself as I grieved through the pain. As I pushed forward, I couldn’t believe the things that I did, the words that came out of my very mouth. This wasn’t me! But I pushed through. It did get better, and I grew from the pain. I pray that she will, too.
On the flip side, I can also empathize with her husband to an extent. I too have been on the cheater end of the story. Many years ago, I was always alone, never heard, never had attention from my spouse. Was it the right thing to do? Nope. Could I have resolved my feelings towards my marriage a different way? You bet. Would I do this again? Never. But in the moment, I can relate to how innocent flirting can become quickly out of control. All of a sudden you have become someone you never wanted to be, and it comes to the point when blatantly confessing feels so wonderful. It took a long time to regain trust, but I admitted my wrongs, and strived to prove I am better than what my previous actions showed. I also realized, that it truly takes a strong person to honestly forgive their spouse for hurting them so badly.
Communication is always key. Knowing when to stick it out, or to call it quits is key, too. Trust from those you love is so important, and once you have broken it, it will take a long time to get it back. Relationships are like plants : you have to consistently give it water, or it will dry up and die. My heart goes out to all those who are living with broken hearts, and those living knowing they have broken someone’s heart.