The weight of the world falls heavy on you,
you keep bending until you break.
I watch as they dispense the cure in your hands,
and hope this time it will take.
Instead this chemical, in all its pure form,
crushes your very soul.
You become changed, and slightly more deranged,
and someone I don’t even know.
It was supposed to turn despair into hope,
and pull you from the depths of the bog.
They promised false hope, as it changed you so much,
and trapped you in an eternal fog.
I especially like the last four lines.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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I had a hard time clicking the ‘Like’ button. Not at all because it wasn’t deserving, on the contrary, it was great. But because there is so much raw emotion, it seemed odd to ‘like’ something so somber. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you for that. It was a difficult time in my family years ago. I am happy to report, that the person whom this is about, is thriving now. All finally got figured out, and he is back to being his happy self again 🙂
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Thank God! That’s so good to hear.
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Yes, very good. I am so proud of him!
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I didn’t even realize I spelled metaphor wrong in my title! I changed it now.
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I liked how the rhythm worked here — there was a steady momentum to it that worked really well as a counterpoint to the actual (sad) progress you describe in the poem. Really nicely done.
(Puts on Grammar Police uniform)
I think there’s an “it’s” that’s actually supposed to be an “its” around line 5.
(Takes Grammar Police uniform off)
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Thanks for catching the “it’s” mistake. I’ve got it fixed. I appreciate you reading my poem! 🙂
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So much sadness but nicely put into words. Great job! 🙂
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Thank you so much: )
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Nice job and I can relate!
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Hahaha! “Puts on Grammar Police uniform.” I am a grammar policeman (policewoman I guess) myself. Of course I know I still make mistakes! 😜
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Ooops. I meant to reply to Ben’s comment with that. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I really like what you’ve done here. Great work!
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Thank you so much! 🙂
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What a beautiful way to express your thoughts, feelings and observations.
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Thank you, and thanks for reading!
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