Our lives have taken on quite the change in the past three months. As a family of five, life can be so overwhelming. Running kids to this activity and that, keeping up with housework, etc. We decided to homeschool our three children, after a year long back and forth decision process. For reasons I will not get into now, we (mostly me) felt that this was best for our children at this time.
I was a dental assistant, and I was gone from the house from 7am to 5:30pm. I would then come home, make dinner, and finish school with the kids. During the day, they were doing online school, and at night I would help with questions, and try to teach……..but I was so tired.
This lead to me being at a crossroads. Do I put my children back into public school, or figure out a way for me to be at home more, and still bring in some sort of income? I chose the latter. I accepted a very part time job, that puts me home at noon everyday. I picked up two house cleaning jobs to supplement some income, and crossed my fingers that this would all work out.
I feel like I have lost my identity, and am minimizing my skills……but it is better for the kids in the long run right? I am scared that I will cripple my family financially by doing this. I am scared that I am not teaching my children enough. I am being pulled in a million different directions, and feel like I am balancing the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. If I fall from the weight, everyone suffers.
Something in my heart keeps telling me to push forward. Something keeps telling me, that over all of the doubts I have, this is the right thing. I must persevere. I cannot fail. But if I do?